Wednesday, September 17, 2008

An old blog post, I wanted to share it again


OK, I’ll admit it. I like Fall Out Boy. Yes, and I listen to Good Charlotte, And NSync, so there!

But I have been thinking, technically because of FOB, about being Emo. I hate labels, and that is just one more header I seem to fit under. So I came up with “The Emo Project.” Basically I want to put together a book about my depression, only in an interesting way, and with scrapping.
I want to get pictures of me taken being traditionally “Emo,” with black clothes, a hoodie pulled up over my head, a chunk of hair across my face, tear-stained with the dark eyeliner… And in classic poses too, an over-the-top look at the “Emo” label. The journaling will be honestly the ways I’ve felt because of my depression and anxiety and insomnia, pretty much an exaggeration of a part of me. It’ll be all hard and black and white. I want to end this part of the book with pages about me, the real me. I may be emo, but I’m a mom and a wife, a scientist, an artist… I’m an emo punk hippie yuppie basketcase, and I’m not shamed of it.

I’m hoping to get the book out to some mental health programs, like Active Minds which aims at the destigmatization of mental illness in young adults. I want to share my story, letting prople know that you don’t have to write poetry in a coffee house to be depressed, and depression does not define you. I’m depressed, and I need to be on medication to keep even a loose hold on my sanity, and I do have lapses and bad days, but I don’t let it define me or define the clothes I wear, the music I like or the way I live my life. To some Emo is a scene, to others it’s an inescapable way of life.

OK, rambling again, but I was hoping to share this because I want some help making a decision. Do you think enough of the scrap community that suffers from a mental illness would be willing to contribute to another chapter, double layouts of their own depression and their coping mechanisms?

Just curious. I don’t want to profit off of this, I just want to share my experiences and knowledge about my own diseases with other people. If I can just help one person deal with their own issues or go get help then I will have done my job. I hate being depressed and I want to save the world from feeling like I have.
June 15th, 2007 at 8:22 am

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