Merry Fucking Christmas

So this year I was actually excited for Christmas. It is Jack's 2nd but the first he knows what a present is. So things were going fine. We got his presents, today we were going to head up north to stay with the in-laws and we were going to have a great Christmas.

Brett got into an accident. He is OK, the baby wasn't in the car. The car is fucked. Other driver's fault, but our insurance lapsed so they gave us a $710 fine.

My mother-in-law was going to come own to get me and Jack this morning. She bailed, claiming the roads are too bad. OK, we did get a foot of snow last night, but the roads are fine and there is no more snowing today. But before that I get to wake Brett up and let him know the heater is busted. Yeah, no heat, no ride and we've been arguing for days.

So we decide to get a ride to Merri's house so the poor blue-lipped baby (I'm not even kidding) can have some heat. Dustin comes to get us and can't even keep both hands on the wheel. He has to talk to his girlfriend (long story on that, not my business to post) and even tells her how we keep slipping and almost running into snow banks. So hang up the fucking phone, my kid is in the car, jackass! And then he does bump the car ahead of us at the stop sign. I was livid.

And now I might be staying here overnight because Brett needs a ride to work and might stay at Dustin's. Great holiday, not home, not with family, not even with my fucking husband. I'm depressed as all hell and he has my cigs.

So we have to rent a car. Wednesday the other driver's insurance company will be in the office, so if we are going to make it to the family Xmas we have to rent one ourselves and wait god knows how long to get reimbursed.

Good news is the heat is on, bad news is I'm not home and Jack is fussy and finally asleep. I'd nap but he'd just wake up as I'm on the verge of sleep and I just can't take that kind of disappointment right now.

I've cried more in the last three days than in the past three months. Merry Fucking Christmas.

broken record

Everytime I start a new journal (or blog) I tell myself I will not use it as a depression dump, only writing when I feel depressed and such. Well, here we go again, only now I am depressed and have internet access for the night so everybody gets to watch.

Still at the chocolate factory, totally using my education to do what I planned to do for the rest of my life. I hope sarcasm works in type. And to top that off I fell in their parking lot and hurt my back. Team Staffing is taking care of it, but I'm on restriction so I can't bend, reach, twift, lift etc. I do what I can.

So work sucks, back hurts, love life is on the rocks.

No birth control = no nookie for Jen. Not to mention that my DH has taken a second job and works until midnight 4 days a week. Miss him terribly, makes me cry.

So yeah, Jen's "life sucks" update.